Love and Enlightenment
The Truth is Love
Understanding that I do not control my thoughts, feelings, and sensations

Many people believe that they control their thoughts, feelings, and sensations.
I wonder how many people have looked into the possibility that their
thoughts and feelings just arise without their doing. While the mind is able to
suppress feelings, the reality is that suppression does not destroy those
feelings—it just pushes them aside for the time being. Eventually the
suppression of those feelings creates disorder in the body and will likely lead
one to act out the feeling in a disorderly way. For example, if I was taught I
should not cry and I learn to push down and suppress the feelings of sadness,
it is possible I will be unsupportive and judgmental of others that are sad.
This way, I am "protected" from sadness arising in me. But no matter how
hard I try, eventually, these feelings and sensations must be felt. Suppressing
feelings only delays the inevitable experience and causes bodily disease and
unclear actions in the process. The first step to allowing myself to experience
all feelings and sensations is to understand that I have no control over any of
these feelings.

Most thought is memory based and is therefore reliant on the past. Thoughts
continue to arise without my doing. If I am aware during deep sleep it is
possible to observe thoughts that continue to move through the
consciousness, even though I am sleeping and unable to engage in these
thoughts. As thought continues to play out even when I am sleeping, I clearly
have no control over thought.

Thought is a record of everything that has already happened. In each moment,
the mind creates a filter, combining what has already been learned and
applying it to the current situation. If I was taught to recognize the colors red
and yellow when I was young I can mix them to make shades of orange, but
green would not be possible. My filter is always going to have a shade of
orange to it. This demonstrates why most people’s beliefs and thoughts are
made up entirely of what they have learned in the past. An other example: if I
learned that I should go to bed early, I may occasionally stay up later for an
unusual circumstance (applied to the current moment), but I will still keep the
thought that I have to go to bed as soon as possible. I can make different
shades of orange (by staying up later), but I am still applying my history to the
current moment (by reminding myself to not stay up too late). Thoughts
themselves are just records and memories of the past.

Feelings and sensations are also often records of the past. The mind and body
have an extremely intimate connection and the sensations and feelings that
arise are most often linked to the thoughts that I am having. Not only are the
thoughts just memories from the past, but most feelings and sensations are
as well.

Through observation I can realize that sensations, feelings, and thoughts
continue to arise in my life without my control. In time I can lose my
attachments to my thoughts and feelings and begin to live a more free, fresh,
and spontaneous life.
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